Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
