hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
