giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
