What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
