We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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