Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
