Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
