do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
