His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
