I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
