You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
