how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
