I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
