Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
