Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
