She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
