i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
