I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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