Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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