Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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