Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
