Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
