i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
