The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's shark week go big or go home
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
