I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize