When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
