I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
