she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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