from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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