i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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