Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
