im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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