Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
