As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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