i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
