Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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