turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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