Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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