Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
