that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Everyone says I win the strip club
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
