he puts the penis in happiness.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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