I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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