i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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