dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
