Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
