I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
