i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
