Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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