Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just google imaged poop.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
