I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
