i just had sex bonerless
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
