are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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