Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
