Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The feeling are messing with the penis
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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