sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
