she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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