Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
