k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
