I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
