I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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