If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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