there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
