U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
