she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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