The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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