Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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