This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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