I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I want is dick and wine.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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