trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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