what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
